Day 102/365… Ahhh What Do I Do With This Last M&M?!?!

As some of you know I have quite a bit of OCD. This presents itself in strange ways from time to time. Such as today’s debacle: I was eating M&M’s now I should note I have a very precise way of eating them. That may sound quite nuts but want can I say I am indeed crazy… lol Anyway I also have this thing with even numbers. So today I’m sorting out these M&M’s when I realized that I had an odd amount of pieces. This presented a major problem for me b/c I HAD to have and even amount and I couldn’t do anything to fix this issue. Thankfully Meta ate the last piece for me …lol I just had to tell you this because I know how silly it is especially looking back on it but it really did bug me.

Today was all in all a good day. I rewatched the rest of an anime that I had started a few days ago. Then I wrote for almost an hour. And lastly I hung out with a friend and made a bit extra money at the casino.

Oh, yeah! I need to charge my phone before I forget to do that again. @_@

Geez I miss my gingko. I feel like such a space case with out it. It also helped a lot with my OCD. I’m glad that I can get back on it after my surgery. Speaking of that it’s in three days so forgive me if I don’t write much for a while.

That’s about it for now. I have a busy few days ahead of me starting tomorrow.

~Derema~

Personal Challenge: To Game or Not To Game: That IS The Question…

Lately I have been feeling rather frustrated by the fact that Fal and I have been gaming a bit too much. So after getting into a bit of a tiss over Fal’s lack of doing anything other gaming after she get’s off of work I came to a realization. I get so irritated at her doing this because it’s a bad influence on me. I want to stop gaming so that I can actually get myself out there and make a good name for myself but if I’m surrounded by people who are “goofing off” then I too goof off.

So the Challenge: Game less hat one hour a day for one week.
Start date: 03/08/2012
End date: The end of 03/14/2012
Ultimate goal: Game less than 30 minutes a day every day.

I issued the same challenge for this week to Fal here is her response. I will be posting my results on here. ^_~

Wish us luck!

~Derema~

Day 59/365… What A Fun Day!

Today was positively delightful. There was a great lunch with Meta. Then there was a marvelous play with one of my other friends. And lastly there was another great meal with everyone. I’m now fed and very well entertained. What more can I ask for?

Sorry that this is so short and sweet but I cannot think well right noe for I have a bit of a headache from too much excitement. That’s why I don’t get together with too many people too often… LOL

~Derema~

PS: I still have a horse voice. >.<

Day 44/365… Odd Day

Today was rather odd. First it started with a crappy brunch with good company. I’ve also had a lot on my mind today but nothing really stayed there for long. This resulted in me being bored most of the day. I have got to find a way to focus some of my thoughts better. My day did end well with a good dinner with Fal and Meta.

That’s about all I have for you today.

~Derema~

The desire to write grows with writing.
~Desiderius Erasmus

Day 36/365… Sleep

Oi, have you ever had one of those nights where you get woke up by something and spend the rest of the night trying to force yourself back to sleep? Yeah last night was like that for me. I was doing just fine as a matter of fact I was directly in the middle of my sleep when my phone rang. It was Fal’s mother calling at 04:30 in the morning to make sure that we were alright because she had hear about a fire that was close to us. Ugh, what gives with some people thinking that others are going to be awake at that time? I guess there are others who get up that early but geez at least don’t call until 06:00 or 7:00 unless it’s something that can’t wait. Yes, the fire was close but not that close and it had broke out much earlier in the day so even if we did have to evacuate we would have already been out of harms way and likely have already called everyone to let them know we were alright, ya know?

I wish it was easier for me to get to sleep and stay asleep. I’ve always been a very light sleeper and very rarely do I sleep completely through a whole night. I think part of this is because I don’t need as much sleep a some do. That coupled with my bad joints I usually have to run myself out of energy and if I get completely woke up somewhere in the middle of my sleep I just don’t get back to sleep well. Oh, well I just hope I sleep well tonight.

Other than that I didn’t do much today. Maybe it was because of my lack of ability to focus on much of anything for more than a few minutes. I did, however, watch a bit more of the first season of CSI but that was the most productive thing I’ve done all day unless you call eating productive…lol

~Derema~

Day 8/365

I found this personality test on: http://www.signalpatterns.com/psych_central/ and decided to take it. It says that I’m Aesthetic, Original and Curious. I believe that’s quite accurate. Here are my top 10 traits:

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you’re proud of it. Those with a high score on the “aesthetic” trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don’t think it’s pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You’re not one of those who believe it doesn’t matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what’s going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what’s going on outside.

You don’t feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you’re thinking about.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You’re not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don’t simply take things as they are and move on; you’re not content skimming along on the surface; you don’t feel you’re wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Understanding

You are willing to take the time to find out what’s going on with other people, especially if they’re in distress. You’re a good listener, you don’t criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it’s requested. With a high score on the “understanding” trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don’t feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the “creative” trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Sympathetic

You have a knack for knowing what’s going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.

You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Solitary

You are a private person, not very comfortable in a big group, and view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

You not prefer hanging out with others to spending time alone; you do not tend to feel at home in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.

Empathetic

You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.
You don’t buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else’s because unless you’re happy you’re incapable of making anyone else happy.

Astute

You are a quick study. You generally don’t need to have things explained to you more than once. When presented with a problem, you will often have an instant understanding of where to look for the solution.

You do not take your sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. You don’t avoid assignments that require you to learn new skills.

Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You’re the living embodiment of the saying “You learn something new every day.” In general, those with a high score on the “intellectual” trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.

You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.

Also on that same vein is this:

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||| 36% Stability |||||||||||||||| 70% Orderliness |||||| 30% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||||||| 40% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflictseeking |||||||||| 40% Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 60% Romantic |||||||||| 40% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50% Wealth || 10% Dependency |||||||||||||| 56% Change averse |||||| 23% Cautiousness |||||| 30% Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Sexuality |||||||||||| 50% Peter pancomplex |||||||||||||||| 70% Histrionic |||| 20% Vanity |||||| 30% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56% Physicalfitness |||||||||||||||| 70% Religious |||| 20% Paranoia |||||||||||| 50% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70% Indie |||||||||| 40%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

I think that these explain a few things about me. What do you think? Well it is what it is so like it or lump it. :p

Anyway I’m finally done with wrapping the gifts. I hate all the last minute rushing. Hell, I really hate this day to be honest. Today is the 13th year anniversary of my uncle’s passing so yeah it kinda sucks. All day I’ve been trying not to think about it but it still there.

Oh well most of today was good. I got to spend time with my mother and go shopping with her and I had yet another good dinner with Fal and Meta.

I don’t feel much like writing right now so that’s it.

~Derema~

Oh, the Power of Panic

I just got home from a trip to the ER and for once it wasn’t me that was in the hospital bed. I when with one of my good friends because for the last few months he’s been having some sort of off and on hart flutter that has triggered on more than one occasion a panic like attack. Today one of these attacks happened while he was driving. I finally told him, “That’s enough, we’re going to go to the ER.” Truth be told, I’d rather it just be a false alarm and be told tat than have it be something serious and not go. When we got there he almost fainted IN the ER so I was more than happy that we went. In the end in turned out to be “just” a panic attack but it actually answered a lot of questions and put things into better prospective for at least me (I hope it helped him as well).

After that he and I went to a car part shop to find out why his check engine light was on (yeah I know that’s rather odd after a panic attack but that’s what we were trying to do beforehand). It was found that it’s likely going to be about $150 part and maybe 2 hours worth of work WE can do ourselves so that was good news.

So life’s crazy as it should be. I think I thrive off of living by the seat of my pants. I’d rather not have another person go to the ER but it all turned out in the end. Yeah, I’m freaking nuts. I get that and you know what? I’m glad tat I am. It means that there’s never a dull moment and I bounce back better than some “normal” people anyway.

That’s about it about it for now. See ya!

~Derema~

Obsessions

Let’s talk about obsessions. My obsessions to be more precise. What do you do when for as long as you can remember you have lived life from one obsession to another and suddenly, as if for the first time in your life, you find yourself without a single obsession? Seriously, I have been obsessed with anything form learning Japanese to learning alchemy to various business ideas and so much more (maybe one day I’ll post a list of these things if I feel up to it). The last month I had been feeling that way until this last week or so. Now I’m whole again.

My latest obsessions are getting together enough resources to get out of this black hole of a city and writing. Getting out of this area will be good for me I know it. This place sucks the life out of me. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. This place is alright to visit but it no place to live in my opinion. I don’t like the heat in the summer nor the cold in the winter. I like very moderate climates so the high desert is not for me. I believe that I’m going to be moving to Portland some time next year unless something major happens that changes my path along the lines. One way or another I’m not going to be living here by the mid 2013 (that takes into consideration even signing another year’s lease where I am now).

As for writing I have been quite active in my writing lately though I haven’t posted anything publicly. Mainly due to it still being in rough draft form. How dose one go about finding trustworthy people to help them develop a story that’s been in their head for more that 10 years and keeps being built upon? I have so much I my head that it’s been quite the challenge to get even get parts of it out and on paper. I wish I knew where to look for people to bounce ideas off of without the risk of theft. Maybe that’s my own paranoia talking but I’ve worked hard on these ideas and don’t care for idea of some schmuck taking credit for my hard work.

Well that’s all I’ve got for now. Now you have a bit more incite to the inside workings of Derema’s mind.

Enjoy!

~Derema~